Kill EVERYTHING

01:31am 06/10/2005

mood: HARD-FUCKED

music: FUCKINGHARD AND THE SOUNDS OF DIFFICULT

Ok, kids, if you didn't play the original NG game on the XBOX last year (like me), then I got a single word for ya: FUCKINGHARD! Oh!: How hard the fuckage!!! FUCK! HARD! FUCKINGHARD!!! It's like being fisted by a video game... FUCK! HARD! FUCKINGHARD...

Details to follow (after I - presumably - unlock bonus content).

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E3: Best of Show

05:17pm 30/05/2005

mood:

amused

Destroy All Humans!
One Giant Step On Mankind

My criteria for selecting my game of show at E3 has always been limited to the following 2 rules:
1. The game can be at any stage of the development process, but it must have been playable (and available to be played) on the expo floor.
2. The title must have captivated me to a degree which surpassed any other game I saw throughout the show.

If you remember, last year, my best of pick went to THQ's S.T.A.L.K.E.R., a FPS for the PC set in the area around Chernobyl. This year (insanely enough), my pick is also being put out through THQ: Destroy All Humans!: One Giant Step on Mankind.
          Developed by Pandemic, the game places you in the role of a very nasty little alien who is hell-bent on, well, destroying all humans. The second I picked up the controller, I couldn't tear myself away from the thing, playing the game for the better part of an hour (which simply doesn't happen to me at E3 - there's just too much else to see). I was partially drawn to the game's 1950's-sci-fi-movie sense of humor: your weapons include an anal probe that, when fully charged, causes the humans' heads to explode; early mission objectives are written with (utterly hilarious) deadpan alien humor ("vaporize the inquisitive authorities," "destroy the human domiciles," etc.). After (a seemingly endless) onslaught of unoriginal, derivative, and just plain vacuous titles, Destroy All Humans was one of the very few games which made my heart sing with genuine joy; it's a delight to play.
          After completing the first part of the tutorial (which consists of cow-tipping, cattle mutilation, cow mind-invading, telekinetic cow-throwing, and which culminates with some good-old-fashioned human-hunting), I experienced a moment of true glee when, after finding my flying saucer, I was instructed to "destroy the human domiciles" by using my saucer's Death Ray. It was at this moment that I fell in love: any game that actually lets you use a weapon called the "Death Ray" is probably going to be ok in my book.
          I was pleased when I discovered that the Death Ray actually lives up to its name: it's a giant red energy beam that cuts through wooden buildings like hot butter, setting them on fire before they collapse with satisfyingly cataclysmic results. Before the end of the level, the cops show up, followed then by the Army, and ultimately by 1950's-style Men In Black, all of whom you fuck up viciously.
          But one of my favorite things about the game (which is a pseudo-isometric 3rd-person shooter, by the way) is that your character isn't actually all that tough. When he gets shot by a farmer with a rifle or shotgun, he gets knocked to the ground like the pathetic, ugly little evil creature that he is. Furthermore, sustaining more than a few of these blows will result in your death, forcing you to use some clever tactics when confronting the humans.
          My only fear is that the game will be repetitive, something which can only be judged by playing through the title completely. Still, if my playtest is any indication, Pandemic put a lot of time and polish into the title, and gamers should have little to worry about - apart from how to destroy all humans. No other game held my time and attention longer, and (because of this) it earns my pick for best game of this year's E3. Look for it when it comes out on the 21st of next month.

Watch the trailer...
Visit the website...

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E3: The Dreaded Sequilitis... Quake 4

04:54pm 29/05/2005

mood:

bored

I was assigned to cover 2 of the conferences during Pre-3 (the two days before the expo floor opens and the carnage begins) for Gamasutra.com. The conferences featured panels of big-time industry wheelers and dealers, the guys who make it all happen, fielding questions from a moderator and the assembled audience. The one's I attended were focused on independent development teams and how they relate to the major players in the industry. I won't go into any details here, but I will say that these two conferences were extraordinarily depressing, casting a pall of darkness over the remainder of my time at E3. (If Gamasutra doesn't use the pieces, then I'll post them here, and you will experience the horror that I now know only too well).
At any rate, one of the pieces focused on the (shortsighted, foolish, and just generally bad) trend of game companies relying on sequels of the games in their most popular franchises to rake in the dough (as opposed to putting out more innovative and daring titles). To that end, I give you Quake 4.

Quake 4: Who the fuck cares?

Now, I may have been in the game for too long; I've been doing this for two years now, and may be jaded, but, as I stood in the Activision booth at E3, watching a beautifully rendered demo of Quake 4 (for the XBOX 360), I experienced a complete and total lack of excitement. In fact, I'd go so far to say that the demo actually sucked the excitement out of me. A general sense of "Oh, this... again?" set in like the sinking feeling of dread one gets at a party when the most irritating guy corners you to talk about his stamp collection.
It depressed me more than a WWII game (and that says a lot: I will never play another game set in WWII again... and that's a fucking promise). Seeing the Quake franchise (that venerable sentinal of my early teens that I've recalled so fondly and so often) reduced and degraded in the form of another sequel seemed like such a cheap and passe way of cashing in on the franchise that it could only have been made worse by setting the game in Normandy. And that would have been unforgivable.

Been there, done that...

          And I guess that's the real problem with sequilitis: the game may not be bad at all (in fact, Quake 4 looked like a good game), but it's impossible to escape the sensation that I've already played it. The same goes for most of the Tom Clancy games; the Midnight Club franchise (more or less; I enjoyed the last game quite a bit); Timesplitters; really, the whole fucking industry at large.
          I can honestly say that the only pure sequel that I was truly interested and excited in was Everyone Loves Katamari Damacy.
          Still, in the interest of fairness, you can read what Activision has to say about the game below. It's straight from their press kit, so beware of spin. I couldn't bring myself to care enough about the game to read it.

( Quake 4 Press Kit Copy From Activision )

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E3: Fatal Frame III
		11:44am 27/05/2005
	Fatal Frame 3: The Tormented is slated for release by the fall of this year. It looks as if it takes full advantage of the PS2's display capabilities. This actually kind of depresses me; by the time developers learn how to harness the true power of a system, the new consoles get rolled out. First gen games are nothing compared to last gen titles. Oh well. FF3 looks good, though, following faithfully (and frighteningly) in it's predecessor's footsteps.
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E3: Microsoft to give away free XBOX 360's every 10 minutes
		11:43am 27/05/2005
	Microsoft to Give Away Free XBOX 360's This Just In From Microsoft's PR Website: Promotion To Win It Before You Can Buy It Kicks Off August 28 LOS ANGELES — May 17, 2005 — Microsoft and Pepsi-Cola North America today announced a U.S. promotion to put Xbox 360, the next generation video game and entertainment system from Microsoft, into the hands of thousands of lucky people before the console hits store shelves. Beginning Aug. 28, Mountain Dew, Pepsi’s intense citrus soft drink, and Xbox will select a winner of an Xbox 360 console every 10 minutes, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 9 weeks straight... ( Straight From The Horse's Mouth: XBOX 360 Fact Sheet )
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E3: Full Auto
		12:45pm 26/05/2005
	THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A TOTAL STRANGER IN THE ASS!! (In-game action, not cut-scene cinema) Sega debuted their impressive new car combat title, Full Auto, for the forthcoming XBOX 360 system. The game was undeniably impressive, even if only as a physics and display demo: I got to spend 45 minutes with the game (and could have spent more), but felt that I had enough. Whether or not that will still be true when the final version of the game hits store shelves during the fall of this year, the arcade-style racing failed to captivate my attention. The graphics, on the hand, were a different story. Either way, the game did live up to its initial promise of delivering the single most destructive racing experience ever. Cars roll; people die; just another day at the races in Full Auto Indeed, the game's ethos (from a design perspective) could be summed up simply as "Everything explode! Everyone die!" In fact, I would go so far as to say that it would be easier to describe what you can't destroy (which, in all honesty, seemed to be a very short list) instead of what you can. All the buildings along the side of the street-style tracks can be blown to hell. Facades explode in some of the most realistic-looking fire I've ever seen, revealing impressively-detailed interiors within. Civilian cars innocently wandering through the crossfire are careless blown to hell by the race participants. It's nihilistic madness at its best. All of this is facilitated by the game's (somewhat rickety) control scheme: the player uses the left analogue stick to steer their car while using the right stick to move and aim their crosshairs. Front-mounted machine-guns are stationary, firing straight-forward, but rockets can be aimed with reasonable degrees of precision. Controlling both at the same time, though, can be a little tricky, especially when powersliding around a corner. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!: Full Auto's design ethos in action Regardless, getting a kill is eminently satisfying: nailing a fishtailing enemy who blew by you by firing a rocket up their tailpipe when you're a long block away, struggling to catch up, is a great feeling. My only fear is that the title will offer all-flash and little substance. More screens will be uploaded once wireless access is restored. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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E3: Kill EVerything Expo Roundup
		12:11pm 26/05/2005
	The E3 edition of this week's Kill Everything has got it all: cripples, booth hotties, my pick for game of show, and Inglewood, baby: Inglewood. You can read it [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] http://www.lasvegascitylife.com/articles/2005/05/25/killing_everything/killeverything.txt">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] The E3 edition of this week's Kill Everything has got it all: cripples, booth hotties, my pick for game of show, and Inglewood, baby: Inglewood. You can read it <a href="href="http://www.lasvegascitylife.com/articles/2005/05/25/killing_everything/killeverything.txt">here</a>.
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E3: Okami
		11:35am 25/05/2005
	Following the innovative lead of Killer7, Capcom also debuted another visually arresting title at E3. Okami (which is slated for release in 2006) is designed to look and feel as if it's a piece of movable art, with many of the visual elements borrowed from Japanese watercolors. This is a shot of the gameplay, NOT cinema. To say that the effect is striking is an understatement. The player takes control of Okami, a mythical wolf acting as the avatar of the sun god. The player must collect Okami's original powers by exploring the gameworld and interacting with NPCs to covertly grant their wishes via the invisible hand of divine intervention. Before you get all silly about weilding the powers of a god, though, parsing the press release makes it out to be another adventure/platformer. Still, the sheer audacity of the visual style has already made this a must-play title. By the light of the silvery moon... Looking at screenshots, though, is one thing. Actually seeing the game move is an entirely different story. Okami is animated in such a flowing and artful combination of swirling ornaments that just watching the game being played is enjoyable. Combat is wolf-style: Okami can bite and claw at enemies and (over the course of the game) will unlock special powers and combinations through various magical artifcacts. Because the game is being developed by Capcom's Clover Studios (the same dev team who brough us the Viewtiful Joe series), expect lots of surprises from this exciting little title. ( More Okami Screenshots ) Okami is a visual stunner
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E3: Killer7
		11:13am 25/05/2005
	One crippled hitman, 7 alternate personalities: Killer 7 Capcom's cell-shaded shooter, Killer7, was playable on the floor at E3 this year. Not only does the game sport insane visuals, the gameplay is drastically different from almost any title developed for a next-gen system. At its core, the game has become a First and Third-person/rail-shooter hybrid. The player controls character movement by pressing the X button, which causes the character to run forward. The player can reverse direction by tapping Triangle, which causes the character to turn around. This is how the levels are navigated. At certain points, the player can choose branches leading to various locations, including the TV room (where you can save your game and/or change the current playable character). This makes the progression through the levels appear highly cinematic, and (in many cases) is so visually impressive that it's impossible to distinguish between player-controlled sequences and in-game cinema. Combat, however, takes place in first-person. Most gameplay sequences are indistinguishable from in-game cinema. In the game that was made available at E3 (which appeared to be a finished version), combat happens at the player's discression; enemies (which resemble ghosts) must first be "scanned" (by pressing L1) to transform them into a corporeal (and killable) form. Then the shooting starts. Combat takes place in a first-person mode For the most part, the shooting sequences I played resembled action one would commonly associate with a zombie movie: enemies are generally slow-moving and want to come towards you so they can explode. The visual feedback when this happens is (like many other effects in the game) very startling and abstract. Depending on your choice of character, the focus of combat can change. One character (who relies on a single, powerful revolver) has to reload after getting off six shots. While this is accomplished with lightening speed, the delay can be enough time for a nearby enemy to hurt you, creating Dawn of the Dead-like tension. All of the various characters (each one is an alternate personality of a crippled hitman, all sharing the same last name of "Smith") have thier own unique approaches to combat. Kaede Smith (the female character) uses her blood to fight. Mask De Smith (a bizarre Mexican wrestler in a suit and cape) has akimbo grenade launchers. Mask De Smith weilds his dual nade launchers While I only faced a few, zombie-like enemies, screenshots and demo movies I've seen of the game show off an impressive (and creatively rendered) assortment of foes. These range from the humanoid to obscene, anime-inspired organic-seeming lumps of living tissue (ala Parasite Eve). If it moves, shoot it... even if you can't tell what the fuck it is. Also: note the scope on the pistol. Gamers won't have to wait long to get their hands on this highly innovative (and daringly experimental) title. The game is scheduled to hit stores this June. Expect a full review after it ships. Survey says: Sekkzee Kaede is strikingly rendered, playing off the recurring blood motif that runs throughout the game
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E3 Coverage: Slight Delay
		12:15pm 24/05/2005
	Well, E3 stuff will begin appearing on here throughout the week (I had planned to upload the first batch of coverage today, but am experiencing the joys of limited connectivity with my wireless network). Hang in there, though! Here's just a taste of some of the pieces that'll begin appearing here over the next few days: Parsing THQ's Product Copy Fatal Frame 3 Okami Killer 7 What I Learned at This Year's E3 Flipnic 2 More Fake Games Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Destroy All Humans Expo Wrap Up
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TOO MANY GAMES!!
		12:12pm 07/03/2005
	If you thought the holiday crush was bad, consider the following recent releases: PS2: Devil May Cry 3 Tekken 5 Kessen III XBOX: Project Snowblind Brothers In Arms Mercenaries (no, it doesn't suck; look for a review sometime in the near future) SO MANY GODDAMNED GAMES!!!
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Ghost REcon 2 Review
		12:12pm 07/03/2005
	Muhahah... BURKE, HELP DIAZ: NOW! Speed, Surprise, Violence of Action Ghost Recon 2 stitched up, Kill Everything style. Find out why this may be the greatest tactical shooter ever seen on any platform.
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Painkiller: Battle Out of Hell
		03:22am 22/12/2004
	Just in time for the holidays! Check out the full review on pcgameworld here. Merry Christmikanukkah!
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Grand Theft Auto San Andreas Cheat Codes
		11:39am 20/12/2004
	Rockstar has released their official list of cheat codes for GTA:SA. You can find them here. ONe interesting note from Rockstar, however: "NOTE: There is no safe cheat in San Andreas. Once activated, do not save the game. Doing so may corrupt the file and cause unrecoverable glitches and/or crashes. Cheats are provided for entertainment purposes only, and are not covered under the normal game warranty. The only reliable way of restoring the game is to power off the PlayStation2 without saving and loading a cheat-less save."
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Prince of Persia: Warrior Within Review
		12:13pm 16/12/2004
	Boasting a super-cool, much darker story, a new combat system, and (of course) ze Prince himself, PoP:WW takes its rightful place alongside some of the best adventure games of all-time. REview here.
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Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater Review
		12:13pm 05/12/2004
	Ok. I found the story lacking. Sue me. Read the full review here.
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Thanksgiving-Themed Metal Gear SOlid 3 Review
		12:00pm 25/11/2004
	It can be found here. Been playing a lot of galaga lately... I will become the master.
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Grand Theft Auto San Andreas
		12:13pm 26/10/2004
	Even if you thought you were burnt out on the go-anywhere, do-anything gameplay, the latest itiration in the series will blow you away. Check out the full review here.
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Gungrave OVerdose
		06:24am 20/10/2004
	Read the review over at consolegameworld. Basically, unless you're a super fan of the series, my advice would be to avoid this little game and get Gradius V instead.
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	lvclke
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